We are doomed ?.. . . . EVER WONDER where we are headed. .. . Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? . . . Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? . . . Why you don't ever see the headline: "Psychic Wins Lottery"? . . . Why "abbreviated" is such a long word? . . . Why Doctors call what they do "practice"? . . . Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows XP?
. . . . . Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons? . . . . Why the man who invests all your money is called a "Broker"? . . . . Why there isn't mouse flavored cat food? . . . Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor? . . . . Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes? . . . . Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? . . . . Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box? . . . Why sheep don't shrink when it rains? . . . . Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
. . . . If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
. . . . Why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe? . . . . AND... . . . . In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. . . . On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping". (Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair). . . . . On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?) . . . . On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap". (And that would be how???) . . . . On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost". (But, it's just a suggestion). . . . On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down". (Well...duh, a bit late, huh)! . . . . On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".. (And you thought????...) . . . . On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body". (But wouldn't this save me more time?) . . . . On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication". (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.) . . . . On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness". (And...I'm taking this because? ??) . . . . On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only". (As opposed to...what?) . . . . On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use".(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) . On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts". (Talk about a news flash!) . . . . On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts". . (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) . . . .
I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one: . . . . On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly". . . . . On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals". (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) . . . I was in tears from laughter after i read this maybe cuz the hormone levels are high lol (21wks preg).
yup 21 wks pregnant thats like 5months i think lol. . yeah good email. so lol-worthy..
Die Karte ist klasse! Und zum tausendundsechsehnten Mal denke ich, wie schön doch dieser Schnörkelstempel ist, den Du immer wieder brauchst! Habe ihn mir doch extra mal bestellt und brauch den so selten! Dabei ist er coh einfach klasse! LG silvia
4 Kommentare:
And the Oscar goes to .... Heidi
Große Klasse!
Liebe Grüße
Kerstin
Alles Meins *freu* Und soooo klasse!!!
Danke!
LG
biba
We are doomed ?.. . . . EVER WONDER where we are headed.
.. . Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
. . . Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? . . . Why you don't ever see
the headline: "Psychic Wins Lottery"? . . . Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
. . . Why Doctors call what they do "practice"?
. . . Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows XP?
. . . . . Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made
with real lemons? . . . . Why the man who
invests all your money is called a "Broker"? . . . .
Why there isn't mouse flavored cat food? . . . Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor? . . . . Why Noah didn't swat those two
mosquitoes? . . . . Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
. . . . Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box? . . . Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
. . . . Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
. . . . If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
. . . . Why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?
. . . . AND... . . . . In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer
goods. . . . On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair). . . . . On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?) . . . . On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap". (And that would be how???) . . . . On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost". (But, it's just a suggestion).
. . . On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down". (Well...duh, a bit late, huh)! . . . . On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".. (And you thought????...) . . . . On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body". (But wouldn't
this save me more time?) . . . . On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication". (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.) . . . . On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness". (And...I'm taking this because?
??) . . . . On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".
(As opposed to...what?) . . . . On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use".(Now, somebody out
there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) . On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts".
(Talk about a news flash!) . . . . On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".
. (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) . . . .
I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one: . . . . On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".
. . . . On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) . .
. I was in tears from laughter after i read this maybe cuz the hormone levels are high lol (21wks preg).
yup 21 wks pregnant thats like 5months i think lol. . yeah good email.
so lol-worthy..
Here is my webpage :: authentic iron man costume
Die Karte ist klasse! Und zum tausendundsechsehnten Mal denke ich, wie schön doch dieser Schnörkelstempel ist, den Du immer wieder brauchst! Habe ihn mir doch extra mal bestellt und brauch den so selten! Dabei ist er coh einfach klasse!
LG silvia
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